10 Things your waitress isn’t (that you seem to think she is)

  1. Clairvoyant I don’t know why you assume I know exactly what you want for lunch simply by looking at you but I don’t !
  2. A therapist ,I am not qualified to or interested in helping you with life’s many problems , have some class and keep it to your self .
  3. A sex worker I do not exist for you to ogle me , flirt with me or otherwise perve out in public . Just stop! It’s creepy and weird.
  4. A tourist information center. No I do not know where the World War II memorial museum is . I know it’s not here , this is a restaurant , this is also what mapquest is for .
  5. A security guard I am not here to watch your purse , bicycle , laptop or other personal item . Don’t ask!
  6. The weather man , I don’t know if it’s supposed to snow later or how cold it’s going to be tomorrow I suggest you consult the weather network.
  7.  A traffic reporter, no I don’t know why the traffic is so heavy right now maybe it’s because your downtown in a major city at rush hour .
  8. A public transit employee . The subways down I hadn’t noticed I’m at work , why is it down I don’t know I’M AT WORK!
  9. The Boss , yes sometimes restaurants have strange policy’s , I didn’t make them , and chances are I’m as baffled by them as you are .
  10. Your friend , just because your a regular and we see each other most days doesn’t make us friends ,I hate to break it to you but there’s more to friendship than that.

Waitress

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