10 types of anoying cutomers

Like it or not everyone in the service industry has dealt with them at one point or another , I doubt if they even know how rude they’re actually being . Maybe we should video tape them and run it back for them before the tip option on the P.O.S. machine anyway that’s a musing for another day. Today I give you the 10 most common types of annoying customers.

  1. The argues over the price one – I hear this all the time ” but the girl last time charged me less than that” I do not know what the other girl charged you nor do I care . In the category or things I do know , The price ! I work here and I have a fancy computer system that is so simple that even a brain dead monkey could figure out your tab.
  2. The stays forever one – You’ve been here for 4 hours and only bought one small coffee that my friend is why you can’t have yet another free refill.
  3. The comes in 5 minutes before closing one – Yes I understand that you don’t necessarily know when we close , that’s why I warned you when you came in ! If your not aware it’s extremely annoying to have to make a full order when the door is practically locked already and what’s more than that then you want to eat in . Let me reiterate I’m closing in 5 minutes , If you can eat a club sandwich in less than 5 minutes by all means be my guest in fact let me film it I’ll put it on my blog.
  4. The non tipper – The tackiest of the tacky , I’m waiting on you , making your food and bringing it to your table if anything you should tip me more than a bartender or conventional server yet because it’s a café you think this somehow exempts you from tipping . News flash café servers live off their tips just like all other servers.
  5. The talker – You know the one who goes on and on about their kids or their job like this mind numbing information is of any interest at all to a complete stranger.
  6. The too much perfume/cologne one – You have to coke back gagging just to wait on them and even after their hopefully swift departure the over powering cloud of odor hangs in the air resilient against futile attempts to remove it from your workplace.
  7. The awkward not funny jokes person – They think they’re the funniest person ever ! which presents any good server with a conundrum , it would be rude not to laugh so you end up doing this smile and fake giggle thing of course this only exasperates the situation though as now they think their joke actually landed and will plague you with other witless banter in the future.
  8. The cuts you off one – I’m asking you a question about the first part of your order we’re not on to the next item yet , slow down and listen ! I am not just talking for the good of my own health.
  9. The low talker – The mouth is moving but no words appear to be coming out , you would think by the third time I’ve asked you to repeat your self and I’m craned over the counter trying to make out what your saying you’d think hey it’s noisy in here maybe I should speak up . It’s a coffee shop not a library people .
  10. The doesn’t listen one – They ask you a question then promptly ignore the answer, only to ask you the same  worded slightly differently 2 seconds later. If you’d just listened to me the first time you’d already know .

annoying-customer

Like what I’m doing now check out what I was up to before all this @ http://thegreathardwooadventure.blogspot.ca/2014/06/headed-south-beautiful-blue-ridge.html

The tip debate

I work in a café on the bottom floor of one of those huge over populated commercial buildings in downtown Toronto . 2 floors above me is the office of an attractive young doctor with a healthy addiction to turkey clubs , I joke that he’s in the turkey club (I know I’m hilarious ). Anyway most of the time he sends his receptionist to pick them up but at least once a week he comes to pick the order up in person , we share a banter about the weather or the city or whatever he puts his orders on an account so I’d never actually rung him in before .

Today was one of those days he came in person and to pay his tab the first debate arises with the size of the tip 60% more than half the total bill . Being a devout over tipper my self even I was pleased but doubtful it must be a mistake I think to my self he’s entered his pin number by accident or something “I think you may have made a mistake” I question . He checks over the bill “Nope no mistake , that’s for you, Merry Christmas” .

Ok now I’m really confused but you know great I could use the money , I guess the guy really like s to talk to waitresses about the weather once a week, or he pities me or something in which case moneys money I’ll take it.

Now I just have to figure out how to deal with it seeing as my boss is definitely going to assume when he sees this that it’s a mistake because who the hell tips 60% even at Christmas. So I have to explain to him so as not to miss out on my freak tip that’s when the real question arises .

We divide tips at my work evenly between the servers who worked the day the tips are from , so when I receive my cash from the boss man I’m surprised when he says “so your keeping that for yourself right”

“well I figured I’d split it between the 2 of us (my self and the morning girl for that day”

“why she didn’t , it was only 20% that time though” apparently this had happened before and my co worker and supposed friend had pocketed the cash .

In my eyes the question is this do I trust what my boss tells me to be true and pocket the cash but betray the trust we give each other to divide tips fairly every day , or do I be the bigger man so to speak and divide it evenly to spite the fact she may not do the same?

cash questionmark

The 5 types of terrible workdays

We’ve all had them , and over the years I’ve whittled mine down to 5 distinct types so without further a due here they are.

  1. The painfully slow day by far the worst in my opinion . You’ve only been at work half an hour but it feels like a life time , no customers , no prep or cleaning to be done , why are you even here ? I find these days made even worse when you have a thousand things to do outside of work .
  2. The chaotically busy day , a close second to the former . Everything is everywhere and it’s all filthy you barely have time to take a gulp of water before it’s on to the next thing , your starving , dehydrated and in desperate need of a bathroom break . Worst of all you just know you’ll be there long after your shift supposedly ended.
  3. The can’t do anything right day. Everything you touch fails you should have just stayed in bed , you being at work today is of no benefit to anyone involved.
  4. The hangover work day . I do this at least once a week ( don’t judge me I’m young I work hard , I like to party hard) for some reason unbeknownst to me I can’t wrap my head around the concept of Friday night being followed by Saturday morning . The result Saturday at work suck!
  5. The I’m not even supposed to be here today . Dante coined it in Clerks (if you haven’t seen it do yourself a favor and download that sucker ) the day you have plans and aren’t even supposed to be there are a total drag. They are thankfully easily avoided though, I just don’t answer the phone if work calls on my day off .

I want to hear about your terrible days , got one that’s not on my list leave me a comment and tell me all about it .

not even supposed to be here today

A turkey club is like a one night stand

I’d like to share for your amusement a conversation my co worker (and friend ) and I had today . Neither of us are what you’d call skinny girls, we’ve both been fighting the battle of the bulge as long as we’ve known each other.

I fortunately was born with crazy will power which makes resisting tasty treats at work much easier for me my friend not so much. As a result I’m always trying to encourage her away from them in todays case a particularly delicious looking turkey club.

Co worker : Ohhhhh it looks soooooo good but I shouldn’t have it.turkey club

Me : Nope put the sandwich down you don’t need it .

Co worker : I know but I want it ! but I’m so fat , what’s better being skinny or this scrumptious sandwich?

Me : Well  it’s like this, a turkey club is like a one night stand, it seems like a good idea at the time and it’s great while it lasts , but then it’s gone and your left feeling guilty and greasy and wonder how you convinced your self this was in your best interest.

The curious case of the man in the window

People like this are the most prominent cause of my impending insanity and what will I’m sure lead to my inevitable mental breakdown.

The individual in question has been sitting in the window as long as I’ve been at work today , so far just over 6  hours !

who has that kind of time ? I mean I barley have time to do laundry. So far he has consumed man in windowan entire urn of coffee that’s around 16 cups! How is he not dehydrated ? Doesn’t he need to go to the washroom? or am I going to find when he leaves he already has (all over the seat) surely a spectacular end to an otherwise uneventful day .

Surely he must have somewhere else to go , he can afford 16 cups of coffee he can’t be homeless can he ? Isn’t he eventually going to get bored ? No smart phone , book , magazine , just staring blankly into the street FOR 6 HOURS! Whistling along with the awful coffee shop music at the top of his lungs.

I swear if this man lets out one more whistle or buys one more cup of coffee, I may actually lose my mind .

Is he not hungry ? What happens when I bounce him out of here so we can close? Will he go home ? or simply trundle down the street to the bar next door .

Where are you going man in the window? Do you know something we don’t ? are you Buddha reincarnated ? happy to simply sit watching the world pass you by ? or have you already lost grip on reality and are  plotting to take me with you ? What’s your play here ?

10 Things your waitress isn’t (that you seem to think she is)

  1. Clairvoyant I don’t know why you assume I know exactly what you want for lunch simply by looking at you but I don’t !
  2. A therapist ,I am not qualified to or interested in helping you with life’s many problems , have some class and keep it to your self .
  3. A sex worker I do not exist for you to ogle me , flirt with me or otherwise perve out in public . Just stop! It’s creepy and weird.
  4. A tourist information center. No I do not know where the World War II memorial museum is . I know it’s not here , this is a restaurant , this is also what mapquest is for .
  5. A security guard I am not here to watch your purse , bicycle , laptop or other personal item . Don’t ask!
  6. The weather man , I don’t know if it’s supposed to snow later or how cold it’s going to be tomorrow I suggest you consult the weather network.
  7.  A traffic reporter, no I don’t know why the traffic is so heavy right now maybe it’s because your downtown in a major city at rush hour .
  8. A public transit employee . The subways down I hadn’t noticed I’m at work , why is it down I don’t know I’M AT WORK!
  9. The Boss , yes sometimes restaurants have strange policy’s , I didn’t make them , and chances are I’m as baffled by them as you are .
  10. Your friend , just because your a regular and we see each other most days doesn’t make us friends ,I hate to break it to you but there’s more to friendship than that.

Waitress

Bathroom dilemia

So this conversation took place the other day

Customer : Do you have a washroom?

Me : Yes straight through that door (indicates door) and turn left

Customer : Do I need a key?

Me : Nope just straight through the door and to the left

Customer : Is it outside ?

At this point I’m thinking 3 things.

  1. Why in the world would the bathroom be outside ? we’re in downtown Toronto here , it’s g-toilet-question-markhardly like we’re in some outback gas station liable to have out houses.
  2. Don’t you think if it was outside or you needed a key for that matter , don’t you think I would have mentioned that the first time you asked . I gave you a fork for your salad why would I not give you a key for the bathroom (if you needed one ) ?
  3. This is quite the inquisition for something you could have easily found the answers to yourself simply by following the sign labeled washroom .

These are my questions to you bathroom goer .