please take your screaming children and go !

The way I see it when you embark upon the journey of parenthood you sign a binding contract , if you can’t control your screaming child don’t bring it to a restaurant , café or other public place.

We don’t provide highchairs for a reason! Can you guess what it might be ?

You know what I was a child once (duh of course ) and my parents took me to restaurants and if I had behaved anywhere close to as the way this kid is behaving , screaming childrunning around the restaurant screaming walking on tables and throwing food on the floor on purpose . I can assure you there would have been consequences and we certainly wouldn’t have been staying to finish our meals . My father wasn’t being harsh or cruel he was right !

There are other than you in the café , some of them are on dates , some of them are trying to study and get some peace from their crazy roommates and some of them are waitresses trying to make a living off our tips. Reality check , people don’t want to be in a confined space with a screaming child , no customers = no tips for me = no romantic getaway to Quebec city , I am not amused .

If you insist on towing your poorly behaved child to a restaurant then make it a family restaurant , with highchairs , kids menus and waitresses paid to put up with it .

Option 2 discipline your child so it can exist in an adult setting without making fellow patrons and the staff want to rip their hair out and run out the door screaming themselves .

Or option 3 get a baby sitter , they exist for a reason!

I know I know you have a kid and you love them and don’t want to be mean , I have a dog and I love here too but what I don’t do is bring her to a restaurant . Why ? because she would run around the place , she would run around the place annoying people and it wouldn’t be appropriate . So why do you think it’s ok for your child to do the exact same thing ?

screaming child sign

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The curious case of the man in the window

People like this are the most prominent cause of my impending insanity and what will I’m sure lead to my inevitable mental breakdown.

The individual in question has been sitting in the window as long as I’ve been at work today , so far just over 6  hours !

who has that kind of time ? I mean I barley have time to do laundry. So far he has consumed man in windowan entire urn of coffee that’s around 16 cups! How is he not dehydrated ? Doesn’t he need to go to the washroom? or am I going to find when he leaves he already has (all over the seat) surely a spectacular end to an otherwise uneventful day .

Surely he must have somewhere else to go , he can afford 16 cups of coffee he can’t be homeless can he ? Isn’t he eventually going to get bored ? No smart phone , book , magazine , just staring blankly into the street FOR 6 HOURS! Whistling along with the awful coffee shop music at the top of his lungs.

I swear if this man lets out one more whistle or buys one more cup of coffee, I may actually lose my mind .

Is he not hungry ? What happens when I bounce him out of here so we can close? Will he go home ? or simply trundle down the street to the bar next door .

Where are you going man in the window? Do you know something we don’t ? are you Buddha reincarnated ? happy to simply sit watching the world pass you by ? or have you already lost grip on reality and are  plotting to take me with you ? What’s your play here ?

Museing about pineapples

Christopher Columbus is credited with discovering the pineapple on a Caribbean island in 1493. Can you imagine how wacked out with hunger , sunstroke and dehydration the famous Spanish admiral must have been to think, hey ! a prickly yellow thing protruding from the center of an even more spikey low lying bush crack it open ! I bet we can eat that!

I mean the crew must have thought he’d gone stark raving mad. What’s more the admiral

If you'd never seen it before would you dare try it ?

If you’d never seen it before would you dare try it ?

clearly driven to lunacy by the sea want’s to load the ships up with the defense savvy fruit and transport them all the way back to Spain! because of course the upper echelons of society will pay top dollar for a prickly yellow thing they’ve never seen or even heard of before .

Even more crazy , they did!

If you didn’t know how delicious a pineapple was would you try it ? Don’t get me wrong I love pineapples . I’m just saying if I stumbled upon a one on a tropical island or in my local farmers market and I’d never seen or heard of one before , I can’t see my first thought being oooooooo tasty !